Catching Your Partner Cheating Online

A Guide to Catching Your Cheating Partner California

• Signs they are cheating on you;
• Why online affairs are more harmful than you think?
• Does it cost free to find out what your partner is doing online (without them knowing)

Signs that your cheating spouse Los Angeles may be having an online affair:

He or she spends an excessive amount of time behind the computer using the Internet. Your cheating partner California is always in a chatroom or plays an online game constantly. Social settings online are the perfect place to meet and stay in touch with a new mate/partner from the comfort of your home PC.

He or she is secretive about Internet/computer usage. This privacy takes the form of hiding the screen, immediately closing window programs when you walk in, closing the laptop or turning off the computer. Many people eventually move the computer to a more private place.

No longer joins you for sleep at the same time. They stay at the computer when you have gone to bed, oftentimes urging you to sleep without them.  Sex becomes less frequent. They are suddenly “too tired”, or “not in the mood”. They haven’t really lost interest in sex; they’ve lost interest in sex with you. During the times you do have sex your partner is ‘not as into it’. Generally, in the instance of cyber affairs this is because their sexual needs are being met online. Usually people engaged in online affairs will have “cyber sex” in front of their computers with their online partners. More often than not this behavior escalates to phone sex. (Note: lack of sex along with excessive Internet usage may instead be the sign of a pornography addiction, which contrary to popular belief can be just as harmful as an affair)

Sudden interest in new subjects. Is your spouse suddenly quoting philosophers, listening to music they never liked before, or has developed a suspicious passion for politics? Taking on the interests of a new lover is part of the infatuation stage.

Encourages you to do things without them. When occasions come up that you should be attending together they diplomatically find their way out of it. In some situations they will proactively suggest things you can do without them, like a trip to see your family or a friend. Knowing you’re definitely going to be out of their hair for a scheduled time gives them peace of mind while carrying out their plans behind your back.

Picks fights over trivial things. Getting you to be the bad guy is an old trick used by cheaters to suppress feelings of guilt and justify straying to themselves. Watch out for major attacks over how you squeeze that tube of toothpaste the wrong way.

An unusual amount of hang-up calls. This a sign that your partner might have taken it to the phone…and that’s just one step before meeting personally. (This, of course, could also be a real-life lover calling.) Forgets to wear their wedding ring. Chronic “forgetting” may be intentional. Going sans wedding ring is not just a way to announce that they’re available, a wedding ring is a reminder of you, which can make a cheater feel guilty and that’s the last thing they want to feel.

The infamous gut feeling. Not to be ignored: Experts say that as many as 85% of women and 50% of men who “had a feeling” that their spouses were up to something, were right.

Why online affairs are more harmful than you think?

You might have been told, “As long as he/she is on the computer at home, you have nothing to worry about. After all they aren’t going out.” This complete fallacy. When attention that should be given to your relationship is focused elsewhere, the result is damage – regardless of where it’s done.

If your spouse is engaging in cyber sex with their online ‘love interest’ you are being cheated out of a vital part of your relationship. Don’t kid yourself – in a healthy relationship you should be the prime sexual focus of your partner. When your partner takes on a new sexual outlet you are being excluded. It is not a harmless indulgence. It is selfish fun at the expense of the intimacy you deserve. It is NOT OK and will contribute to the deterioration of your relationship.

Internet interactions encourage people to open up to each other in a way that doesn’t normally happen in real life. The Internet has a way of unhealthily accelerating the bonding process between people. The Internet for many people is a forum where they can be the person they wish they were in real life. Relationships forged in cyberspace are free from the typical frustrations that ‘spoil’ normal relationships like bills, children, work, money and household chores. When the online relationship progresses what typically happens is your partner compares your relationship to the one with the online lover. When in an Internet relationship, it is not uncommon for people to plan things like making long-distance moves or living together before even meeting in real life. Upon reading emails to the ‘lover’ of a cheating spouse most people are shocked at the detail and calculation they sometimes put into future plans, including manipulating their spouse into initiating a divorce.

The bottom line is, don’t think for a minute that what starts online stays online. And if something is going on, it is your business, and that brings us to the next section…